US Allies Tell Trump to Pound Sand in Iran

To the surprise of absolutely no one, after years of Donald Trump calling every single ally of the United States dumb, small, weak assholes, low and behold, no one is coming to save his ass in the straits of Hormuz.  I'm shocked, SHOCKED!!!  Duncy Donald is so pathetic he's literally going around cup in hand calling our allies begging for help to get ships through the Strait of Hormuz:  dude, can you spare a mine sweeper please?  What a pathetic fucking loser!...  

Now, to be clear, we've always known that Donnie stupidly and insecurely believes that it's his personal charisma and "genius" that gets people to come to him to strike deals with the USA.  It couldn't possibly be that he's the President of the most powerful nation and military on earth, oh no, no, no. . .   It's because everyone is just so drawn and amazed by his charm, charisma, and tough guy persona, those overly long red ties, that's why they're calling the White House.  It is, and always has been, BS of course:  they're not calling because they like you, moron, they're calling because you're POTUS.  

Having said that, that's not to imply that personal relationships have zero meaning in foreign policy.  George Bush apparently had a very good working relationship with Margaret Thatcher.  Obama and Angela Merkel were famously excellent working partners.  So it does help to not call your closest friends jerks.  And what makes Duncie's surprise at our allies current response all the more amazing is that he DOES believe it's personal relationships that make the world go around.  So then why is he shocked when after a decade of insulting everyone they don't come to his rescue.  It's like the class bully in second grade not understanding why no one wants to come to his birthday party:  it's because you're the jerk dude!  

And obviously these other allied leaders aren't dumb like Donnie and if there was a bonafide security or geo political reason for them to get involved in Iran to protect their nations of course they would, even if they all think Donald Trump is an ass who on top of that apparently smells of ass.  But here there isn't any, this is a war of choice by Donnie to either distract from the Epstein files, self masturbate over his own military's power, or avoid looking like Israel's lackey (although I don't quite see how he doesn't now look like just that).  

So take note Donnie:  next time you want to borrow mine sweepers from Montenegro, maybe don't shove their Prime Minister out of the way for a photo shoot....