A 'Modest Proposal' for Iran

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Donald Trump is a vain, small minded, unintelligent, uninformed, narcissistic little man child who cares for nothing but himself, his supposed glory, and self enrichment.  As a result most intelligent dictators and foreign ministers have figured out that all it takes is placating his ego and/or wallet to get anything you want out of him and therefore the United States.  Pay him a bribe, buy some of his worthless crypto or give him a gold ingot.  Maybe give him a Swiss watch or a luxury 747 aircraft.  Or simply provide him with a new "peace prize" or "participation trophy" made out of plastic covered in gold paint and little Donny will give you whatever you want (see Qatar, Russia, Saudi Arabia, Switzerland, Elon Musk, FIFA, the coal lobby, etc., etc.).   Unfortunately for them, Iran hasn't seemed to figure this out yet.  

So I have a modest Proposal given the dumbass they're facing:  If Iran wants to walk away with a peace plan, the end of US sanctions, and a full-blown nuclear program to boot, all courtesy of one Donald J. Trump, all they have to do is propose and sign the "Donald J. Trump has an Enormous Penis, Peace Plan" (the "EPP") complete with red carpet signing ceremony, a six foot golden trophy modeled to look like Trump (call it the "Trump Is So Awesome" award), the promise of a Trump Golf Resort Hotel Tehran, buy a couple million in Trump crypto, maybe throw in a tacky golden sword of some sort, who knows, an actual leopard, and Voila!  Trump will sign anything you put in front of him.  A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G!!!  That's how small minded he is, that's how unintelligent and corrupt he truly is.  And what's more, he'll promote it as the "greatest treaty ever made" and Fox News and the right wing media complex will too.  They'll fall right in line with Lindsey Graham showing up on the Sunday talk shows bloviating about how Trump is the second coming of King Soloman and that allowing Iran to have 500  ICBMs is actually good for the world, or the reporting on it is "Fake News!"       

The world would be an infinitely better place if Iran was rid of the Mullahs, abandoned its nuclear ambitions, and unshackled one of the youngest most educated populations in the world to join the global economy and rebuild a nation that can trace its culture back over five thousand years.  I have my doubts that that will occur this time around, but I am hopeful.  But the cynic in me wonders why the Iranian government hasn't figured out how to play Trump yet.  I hope they never do...